So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
