i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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