So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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