Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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