I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
