Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
