please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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