we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
