Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
