I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it glows. i had to have it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
3pm strippers are depressing
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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