My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
