He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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