I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
