I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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