I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
