We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
