my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
