she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
