I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
