New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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