were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
