Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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