u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
