Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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