And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
