Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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