I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
