I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Randomize
