i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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