Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
