In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
