YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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