I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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