Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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