This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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