FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
