My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
