My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize