sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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