they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
