I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
