So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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