Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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