Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
