I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I showed him my bush... on skype.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize