I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
