I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
