She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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