I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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