Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
