Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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