Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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