I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
