You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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