just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
