I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
