i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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